Converse with almost any man, grown old in a profeffion, and you will find him regretting that he did not enter into fome different course, to which he too late finds his genius better adapted, or in which he discovers that wealth and honour are more easily attained. "The merchant," fays Horace, "en"vies the foldier, and the foldier recounts the fe Ilicity of the merchant; the lawyer, when his "clients harass him, calls out for the quiet of the "countryman; and the countryman, when business " calls him to town, proclaims that there is no hap"piness but amidst opulence and crowds." Every man recounts the inconveniencies of his own station, and thinks those of any other lefs, because he has not felt them. Thus the married praise the ease and freedom of a single state, and the fingle fly to marriage from the wearinefs of folitude. From all our observations we may collect with certainty, that mifery is the lot of man, but cannot difcover in what particular condition it will find moft alleviations; or whether all external appendages are not, as we use them, the caufes either of good or ill. Whoever feels great pain, naturally hopes for ease from change of posture; he changes it, and finds himself equally tormented: and of the fame kind are the expedients by which we endeavour to obviate or elude thofe uneafineffes, to which mortality will always be fubject. It is not likely that the married state is eminently miferable, fince we fee fuch numbers, whom the death of their partners has fet free from it, entering it again. Wives and husbands are, indeed, inceffantly complaining of each other; and there would be reafon for imagining that almost every houfe was infefted with perverseness or oppreffion beyond human fufferance, did we not know upon how finall occafions fome minds burft out into lamentations and reproaches, and how naturally every animal revenges his pain upon thofe who happen to be near, without any nice examination of its caufe. We are always willing to fancy ourselves within a little of happiness, and when, with repeated efforts, we cannot reach it, perfuade ourselves that it is intercepted by an illpaired mate, fince, if we could find any other obftacle, it would be our own fault that it was not removed. Anatomifts have often remarked, that though our difeafes are fufficiently numerous and fevere, yet when we enquire into the structure of the body, the tenderness of fome parts, the minuteness of others, and the immenfe multiplicity of animal functions that muft concur to the healthful and vigorous exercise of all our powers, there appears reason to wonder rather that we are preferved fo long, than that we perish fo foon, and that our frame fubfifts for a fingle day, or hour, without diforder, rather than that it should be broken or obftructed by violence of accidents, or length of time. The fame reflection arifes in my mind, upon observation of the manner in which marriage is frequently contracted. When I fee the avaricious and crafty taking companions to their tables, and their beds, without any enquiry, but after farms and money; or the giddy and thoughtless uniting themfelves for life to thofe whom they have only feen by the light of tapers at a ball; when parents make articles for their children, without enquiring after their con 5 fent; 293 fent; when some marry for heirs to difappoint their brothers, and others throw themselves into the arms of those whom they do not love, because they have found themselves rejected where they were more folicitous to please; when fome marry because their fervants cheat them, fome because they fquander their own money, fome because their houses are peftered with company, fome because they will live like other people, and fome only because they are fick of themfelves, I am not fo much inclined to wonder that marriage is fometimes unhappy, as that it appears fo little loaded with calamity; and cannot but conclude that fociety has fomething in itfelf eminently agreeable to human nature, when I find its pleasures fo great that even the ill choice of a companion can hardly overbalance them. By the ancient cuftom of the Muscovites, the men and women never faw each other till they were joined beyond the power of parting. It may be fufpected that by this method many unfuitable matches were produced, and many tempers affociated that were not qualified to give pleasure to each other. Yet, perhaps, among a people fo little delicate, where the paucity of gratifications, and the uniformity of life gave no opportunity for imagination to interpofe its objections, there was not much danger of ca-pricious dislike, and while they felt neither cold nor hunger, they might live quietly together, without any thought of the defects of one other. Amongst us, whom knowledge has made nice, and affluence wanton, there are, indeed, more cautions requifite to fecure tranquillity; and yet if we observe the manner in which thofe converfe, who have fingled out each other for marriage, we fhall, perhaps, not think that the Ruffians loft much by their reftraint. For the whole endeavour of both parties, during the time of courtship, is to hinder themselves from being known, and to difguise their natural temper, and real defires, in hypocritical imitation, ftudied compliance, and continued affectation. From the time that their love is avowed, neither fees the other but in a mask, and the cheat is managed often on both fides with so much art, and discovered afterwards with fo much abruptnefs, that each has reafon to fufpect that fome transformation has happened on the wedding-night, and that by a strange impofture one has been courted, and another married. I defire you, therefore, Mr. RAMBLER, to question all who fhall hereafter come to you with matrimonial complaints, concerning their behaviour in the time of courtship, and inform them that they are neither to wonder nor repine, when a contract begun with fraud has ended in difappointment. I am, &c. NUMB. 46. SATURDAY, August 25, 1750. Genus, et proavos, et quæ non fecimus ipfi, Vix ea noftra voco. Nought from my birth or ancestors I claim; SIR, To the RAMBLER. OVID INCE I find that you have paid fo much re SIN gard to my complaints as to publish them, I am inclined by vanity, or gratitude, to continue our correfpondence; and indeed, without either of these motives, am glad of an opportunity to write, for I am not accustomed to keep in any thing that fwells my heart, and have here none with whom I can freely converse. While I am thus employed, fome tedious hours will flip away, and when I return to watch the clock, I fhall find that I have difburdened myself of part of the day. You perceive that I do not pretend to write with much confideration of any thing but my own convenience; and, not to conceal from you my real sentiments, the little time which I have spent, against my will, in folitary meditation, has not much contributed to my veneration for authors. I have now fufficient reason to suspect that, with all your splendid profeflions of wisdom, and feeming regard for truth, you have very little fincerity; that you either write what you do not think, and willingly impose upon U 4 mankind, |